


officially missing you

by jeonwonu (whatabeautifulday)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, a few other members have their names mentioned, for some reason i couldn't get this out of my mind, im sorry pls never let me think about ldr!soonwoo again, just really needed them missing and pining over each other lmao, purely self-indulgent, smidgen of verkwan and junhoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-01-16 01:39:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12332907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatabeautifulday/pseuds/jeonwonu
Summary: “Guess we really can’t do without each other huh?” he laughs lightly but he knows its true. It’s so true it might be the only thing he will believe in for a long time.





	1. days without you

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what this is i just needed ldr!soonwoo and boyfriends missing each other terribly and being a crying mess. i'm sorry if there are mistakes i've been wanting to post this since 2 months ago. also overly used cliche title bc i am a basic human :')

Wonwoo isn't surprised to hear the skype call jingle when he gets out of the shower. It's been his lifeline, his reason for hanging on, if you will, for the past 3 months.

He's more surprised that Soonyoung is calling him tonight because he recalls him saying that Seungkwan was hosting a party in celebration of finishing finals yesterday and he was going to get absolutely wasted. His heart squeezes at the thought of not being there to celebrate with his boyfriend, not being there to witness what kind of crazy antics he would get up to while tipsy. Parties with Soonyoung were the best; he never feels like crawling out of his skin even when there were too many bodies around him and the pulsing lights were making his eyes hurt. As long as Soonyoung’s hand was warm in his, he could conquer anything.

He pauses his thoughts to answer the call, an eager hello already on his lips, but what greets him is an off to the side mumbled curse and a "I swear I already called him please stop crying and repeating his name for one second" that sounds a lot like Jihoon.

But before he could ask what was going on he’s greeted with Jihoon's face on his laptop screen, hair a deep shade of red and eyes glaring daggers at the camera like Wonwoo had offended him.

“Jihoon?" He questions, confused.

"You." Jihoon sighs exasperatedly, pointing accusingly at the camera. Wonwoo is slightly afraid, if not for the fact that Jihoon isn't shouting, yet. Which is a good sign, maybe he's too tipsy to shout at Wonwoo.

Wonwoo quirks an eyebrow at him and Jihoon turns his body to check on something, someone? Behind him. It's dark; the room lights not on so Wonwoo can't see who or what Jihoon is checking on but his instincts tells him that Soonyoung was in the room.

"You didn't fucking tell _me_ or us that your boyfriend was a crying drunk."

Wonwoo takes a second to register what Jihoon has said before it sets in and it makes his head spin. In all their years of being together Soonyoung hasn't cried while drunk, not even at his most wasted moments. Quite the opposite when he's the hyper and talkative kind that talks Wonwoo's ears off and makes unfunny jokes that Wonwoo laughs at because he's actually really whipped for his boyfriend and keeps pouring more drinks for himself until Wonwoo cuts him off

His throat feels tight at the thought of Soonyoung crying because although he was a crybaby, not to mention the ugliest crier he had ever seen (but still adorable) him crying always made Wonwoo weak and made him wish to eliminate all the bad things in the world that made him cry. But he thinks he knows the reason for Soonyoung crying, and he can't really eliminate himself out of Soonyoung's life, can he?

He shakes his head and replies half-heartedly with a "he really isn't". Jihoon looks at him like he knows Wonwoo isn’t even trying before he sighs again.

"Yeah well he's crying, has been crying since Vernon made that stupid mistake of mentioning you in something he was telling Soonyoung actually. Everyone else has tried but he won't stop crying? At least he stopped wailing after Jeonghan rubbed his back for half an hour straight. Now he's just sniffling and mumbling your name. You are the only one that can comfort him right now." Jihoon says resignedly and Wonwoo knows it must have taken a lot out of the rest to calm a crying Soonyoung. He owes Jihoon for this. His chest feels tight with the yearning and emotions that surges up in his heart. Whoever who said that Long Distance Relationships were easy could try choking on fire because that what it pretty much feels like when you are 14343 miles away with no way to reach out to your crying boyfriend.

The urge to see Soonyoung for himself grows even stronger after that (even if they see each other through a 480P screen nightly because they've learnt to compromise with the Wi-Fi on both sides and settled with mid-quality resolution, it’s not enough. it’s never enough) and he tells Jihoon to "pass the phone to him" and because it's been a Long Time since he's seen Jihoon, he decides in a last-ditch effort to tease the latter and tells him that “junhui did great choosing the hair colour" and Jihoon's answering scowl made the lump in his throat lighter because of course, Junhui had told Wonwoo about his plan to get Jihoon to change his hair colour, of course.

Jihoon mutters a "I hate the both of you" before he stands up from the chair and approaches what he knows is the bed.

"Here, soon-ah, talk to your boyfriend, stop crying and please fall asleep talking to him" Jihoon tells the blanket covered lump, and he actually hears Jihoon's tone soften and the ball of unidentified emotions previously welling in his throat presses back harshly at full force.

He clears his throat once he sees the grainy orange coloured hair on his screen. Jihoon had probably left the bedside light on before leaving the room so all Wonwoo could see was Soonyoung's hair and a vague outline of his face. Even with such a grainy and low quality image on his screen, Soonyoung still shines the brightest.

They make eye contact and hold it before Wonwoo could utter a word and Wonwoo sees the tears reflected in his eyes and wants to compare them to stars in the night sky (has compared it before) because even now, he's still the most beautiful person he has laid his eyes on.

“Wonu?” Soonyoung's voice is small and cracks at the first syllable and Wonwoo desperately wants to reach into his screen phone to wipe away the tear tracks he knows are on his boyfriend’s face and to curl around him and cuddle him to sleep.

"Yes babe, I'm here." he hopes his voice doesn't waver, hopes against all hopes he can get Soonyoung to sleep without realising the shakiness in his voice from listening to Soonyoung sound so small and sad.

"Want you to come back” Soonyoung's voice definitely wavers, hoarse from all the crying, and Wonwoo briefly thinks that maybe heartbreak could come in the form of a voice after all. His resolve is slowly crumbling, heart slowly ripping at the seams with Soonyoung looking at him, eyes only on him, bright with tears and he can feel pricks in his own eyes as his heart stumbles around, knocking clumsily into the sides of his ribcage as Soonyoung starts to sniffle again, apparently having lost the will to stop the sobs from coming out.

He hates it when Soonyoung cries. Hates it all the more when it's because of him being so unreachable. He knows Soonyoung understands his decision, being probably the most understanding boyfriend ever, but times like this, he wants to be more selfish than him and take the first plane right back into his arms.

He had thought they were doing pretty well with the distance; they had only fought once and had even made up on the same day, they haven’t missed a single skype session, and they had never once mentioned the distance between them. He likes to think it was because distance couldn’t separate them. He didn’t realise how much of it was because Soonyoung didn’t show him any other reason to doubt and regret his decision.

Turns out, it only takes Soonyoung to break for Wonwoo to break.

Soonyoung mumbles incoherently while swallowing down his sobs, as if he doesn't want Wonwoo to know he's crying, and Wonwoo doesn't know if Soonyoung is consciously doing it but he's mumbling thoughts that are turning more coherent by the minute though just as jumbled, that strike straight into his heart.

“C-come back, please? I want to hold your hand again I miss kissing you t-the bed feels so empty without you and i-i know I said I'll be strong and wait for you to come back but just now when Hansol said something about you and I saw Seungkwan sitting on his lap I just really missed having your arms around me and i couldn’t stop crying. funny because i don’t think i’ve ever cried while drunk, maybe there’s a first time for everything, like how this is the first time i’m actually showing you i actually am shit without you by my side. I miss you every single day - I miss you so fucking much."

Soonyoung finishes with a heavy sob and then covers his face, hiding the constant stream of tears in a potentially feeble attempt to spare wonwoo from crying with him but it’s useless; he already knows tears are rolling hot down his cheeks, his heart feeling like it's being grabbed and squeezed, exploding into a million pieces and he can barely breathe through the shock of emotions welling up in him. He swallows back the urge to cry with his boyfriend, fights back the urge to cut the call and muffle sobs into his pillow, his hands clenched so tightly he can barely feel them anymore.

He’s this close to booking the next flight home, but he’s so close to finishing his book, the fight between irrational and rational taking all the effort out of him as he closes his eyes to compose himself. Suddenly, he feels too tired to be so many miles away from his boyfriend. He craves to fall asleep to the rise and fall of Soonyoung pressed against him, craves to be held and kissed in the way only Soonyoung knew how. He craves to be home.

“Baby, listen to me.” He makes sure Soonyoung is looking at him before continuing, eyes wet and still so so beautiful, ignoring the emotions churning inside him, voice lowering into a soothing mumble he knows Soonyoung hears. "I miss you too. You've done so well until now, I'm coming back soon remember? We have one month left, no more no less. Just 30 days and I'll be by your side again, okay?” He doesn’t know who he’s assuring more, him or Soonyoung. But maybe its for the both of them. Maybe they both needed this confirmation, that it has always been them against the world, it's the only way to understand why the absence of each other in their daily life feels like a gaping hole that only widens as days grow. He misses Soonyoung so much that for the first time in his life, there’s no words that always came so easily to him, to describe the aching emptiness and the need to see and have Soonyoung in his arms again.

He continues telling Soonyoung that he loves him softly and a mantra of everything’s going to be okay for the 30 odd more days left and Soonyoung finally stops crying long enough to reply clearly, voice small and hoarse but still the sweetest sound to Wonwoo’s ears.

“I love you wonu”

He sniffles and hopes that Soonyoung doesn’t hear it but -

“I can’t believe the only time you would cry throughout this long distance relationship is when i cry.”

“Shut up. You don’t get to say anything. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” He knows the reason, Soonyoung is sometimes too understanding for the both of them but he wants to hear it for himself.

“If i had done this within the first week you would never have completed more than half of your book, idiot.” he laughs wetly and it reminds Wonwoo of rainy days spent in bed and a steady heartbeat in his ears.

He agrees, and for a moment they stare at each other, drinking each other in before the call inevitably ends, and Wonwoo belatedly realises Soonyoung is in his pullover, a dark grey one that looked good on him, but even greater on Soonyoung.

He points it out, and gets replied with a “you’re wearing my shirt too” a small smile on his lips and Wonwoo looks down and belatedly realise that yeah, he is. A ratty old one that the words has faded so much of it’s become a plain grey shirt that the both of them have just treated it as one of “their shirts"

“Guess we really can’t do without each other huh?” he laughs lightly but he knows its true. It’s so true it might be the only thing he will believe in for a long time.

“I know i can’t do without you” Soonyoung says, suddenly somber and Wonwoo doesn’t want the waterworks to start again so he says “i know you do. How many packets of ramyeon have you even consumed without me?” and they continue bantering until Soonyoung falls asleep mid banter between whether or not takeout was healthier than instant noodles (wonwoo says yes soonyoung says no), exhausted from the emotions and crying and when he ends the call, his heart is empty yet so full once again.

What was 30 more days when he had already survived the past 90 odd days away from his personal sunshine? He swallows the lump in his throat, closing his eyes to the image of Soonyoung giving him one of his brightest smiles, lulled asleep by the secure feeling that they were going to make this work.


	2. better with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nothing can compare to coming home to each other (or, wonwoo finally returns back to soonyoung's side)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've come to receive alot of love from snwu people and i wanted to do something for this special day because this otp has made my heart so full so here is the reunion of the ldr ;; not beta-ed but i will someday ;; i hope you have a great day! (lapslock)

his eyes scan restlessly among the crowd of people walking out of the gate, hoping to catch a glimpse of a familiar face but there’s so many people and he’s slightly panicking. he thinks he probably should have asked wonwoo what he was wearing to the airport because now he doesn’t even know what colour or what to look out for. what if wonwoo has changed his hair? what if he doesn’t manage to recognise his own boyfriend oh god and he calls wonwoo the half blind one for wearing spectacles. he tiptoes (again), craning his neck to spot his illusive boyfriend, mind running through the dates pinned on their refrigerator back at home, double triple quadruple checking that his flight home was arriving today and that he didn’t get the wrong day. he’s nervous, okay. it’s been an entire night of tossing and turning with the realisation that the next day, there won’t be an empty space beside him like it has for the past 3 months, and that thought alone has his heart thudding and for some reason, he’s a ball of nerves. 

he thinks he sees a flash of a familiar face and is about to call out wonwoo’s name but then he’s being turned around by warm hands on his shoulders and he’s about to scream in confusion but he comes face to face with his own boyfriend and is promptly stunned speechless. he doesn’t even have a second to appreciate how good wonwoo looks (he had changed his hair after all) when the latter starts speaking as though he hasn’t just given soonyoung the shock of his life. 

“i texted you that the gate changed, and you didn’t reply. so i assumed you being you, left your phone either at home or in the car and were still waiting at the wrong gate so, here i am? did i scare you i’m sorry i thought you would like the surprise. babe say something please?” wonwoo has on his worried expression as he brings his hands up to cup soonyoung’s face, and soonyoung falls back into reality after realising that his boyfriend was here now, warm real and finally touchable.

“you. you scared me.” he says in a rush, arms already reaching up press himself into the embrace further. 

it's been too long. he would know the exact number of hours and minutes right to the last second in a better situation but right now all he could register was wonwoo in front of him. wonwoo breathing the air he was breathing in. wonwoo gripping the back of his shirt so tight it’s a reminder to how much he has missed this when he automatically melts under the warmth on his back.

as much as he misses wonwoo, now that he’s right in front of him, his brain is short-circuiting with the many things he wants to do, most importantly, he looks up and the urge to kiss wonwoo is suddenly the most important thing he has to fulfil. he looks around and belatedly realises the airport is definitely not the place for it and barely registers being pulled along when all he could feel is wonwoo’s grip on his arm, dragging him away from the new crowd of people coming out to meet their own family and loved ones, away from the buzz of people talking and the mindless chatter surrounding him, away from prying eyes away - and suddenly he’s being backed into a wall, arms coming up to pull him into a tighter hug than before. it’s the kind of hugs he likes, and wonwoo knows that. it's the only thing he couldn’t stop thinking about for the first week they were separated; wonwoo’s arms tight around his waist, how they are pressed together so close, breathing space inhibited by the other, warmth running between them, making his heart tingle and his eyes crinkle up in a smile when he feels wonwoo presses a soft kiss to his forehead. 

his heart starts aching with so much fondness that doesn't even makes sense to him and he was so close to tearing up if not for the soft lips on his, chasing his own breaths and urging him to kiss back. he does, of course of course because he’s always been weak for the way wonwoo kisses him. all sweet heat and a brand of home he knows too well. he curls even closer, tugs a little too harshly at wonwoo's hair and hears the sharp intake of breath before he licks into the others mouth. whenever they're together, it's always like they have made their home in playing dirty and crossing lines, messy cards strewn across the table, as if order was abandoned halfway through. soonyoung lives for the moments where order doesn’t seem to be a thing on the table. 

kissing soonyoung is a lot like coming home, wonwoo knows he has thought of this comparison too many times in the 90 odd days they were separated, the longing always present, pressing against his chest, but he thinks nothing comes close to the real definition of what home is.

home is when soonyoung presses his forehead to his when they pull away to catch their breaths, eyes crinkling up as he looks into wonwoo’s eyes, his smile is infectious and wonwoo finds the ends of his lips curling up like it always does when soonyoung so much as smiles at him.

home is soonyoung sliding his arms around wonwoo’s thin waist, chastising him for not eating and losing weight before he presses even closer, melding his body to wonwoo’s and the body warmth emanating from him.

home is when soonyoung is quiet on the drive back, hands clasped tightly in wonwoo’s, silently looking at wonwoo sitting in the passenger seat ever so often and when wonwoo catches his eye he grins, and wonwoo thinks the sun could take an off day and the world could function on soonyoung’s grin alone. 

home is whispering i miss you and meaning i love you and understanding that there is nothing better than falling onto soft white sheets with each other, hands curved around fingers that fit nicely into spaces meant for them. 

home is when their heart beats as one, safe in the knowledge that this happiness is theirs to keep.

**Author's Note:**

> i left the reasons for the ldr vague bc it wasn't the main point and if you made it this far good on you and if anyone's interested in indulging my feels for soonwoo, although i'm shy i rly don't bite and i would love to meet more carats :> @happywons


End file.
